$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
