She just used a chaser for red wine.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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