well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize