I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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