Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
