best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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