I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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