adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
