I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize