some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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