I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
