So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
