i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
