girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
