I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
