So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
