dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
