I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
