i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You took a bar mat shot.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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