the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
