It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
