I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Four minutes until I can fart!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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