I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
