I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
