The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
