..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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