I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
