the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
