can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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