Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
