"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You pole danced in your parka.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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