what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize