There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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