Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
