She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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