absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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