Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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