butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize