worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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