Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
