Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
