i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
