Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Houston, we have a blender
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
