well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
