I am spending my child support on dildos
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize