Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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