I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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