I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
