I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
