I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
