you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
