How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
