I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
