You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
