I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
