There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so let's talk penis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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