the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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